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Learning from Cradle Robbers

Cra·dle Rob·ber (noun):  One who romantically involves himself in relations with a partner of a significantly younger age.  (Not to be confused with jail-baiting, which clearly needs no definition.)            

Formula to calculate whether or not you (or your "friend") is a Cradle Robber:  Take your age.  Divide it by 2.  Add 7.  If your ladyfriend or manfriend is younger than this, you are a CRADLE ROBBER.  Invest in some study and/or paraphernalia to prove that you understand the generation of which "Bree"/"Connor" is from, and that you are not a geezer, silver-spoon seeking, perhaps gold-digging Cradle Robber. 

For instance, if your Cradle Robbee is in their mid 20s, you should watch a Backstreet Boys concert, or perhaps memorize the lyrics on the Green Day Dookie album.  If your Cradle Robbee is in their mid 30s, do some research on New Kids on The Block,  and study everything diligently.  You need to know which member you favor:  Donnie,
Joey, Jordan, Jonathan or Danny.  This is important.

If you are an older woman, you may also be referred to as a Cougar.  If you are an older man, you could be dubbed a Sugar Daddy, if you have deeps pockets (or if you are just friendly with Mr. AMEX card.)

One thing that will make your Cradle Robbing experience more pleasurable is Lip Lube.  Don't be afraid or embarrassed.  Dry lips are a known condition of aging, but there are also lots of young folks that are afflicted with this disease.  Don't show off your vast age difference with a lack of skills in the kissing department.   A suggestion of aloe on your lips is like a good insurance policy.  YOU WILL GET KISSED.